


Promise me

by Clip_Lipstick



Series: Sunsets and Promises [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 12:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14308971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clip_Lipstick/pseuds/Clip_Lipstick
Summary: Where Seungcheol decides to let Jeonghan go.





	Promise me

**Author's Note:**

> Another midnight brain wave. I love angst a lot and somehow, despite trying to write a fluffy story, I somehow veered off the wrong end. I just wanted to give a Seungcheol perspective to put the random idea and the storyline in order and I will be coming up with a Jeonghan perspective to flesh the story out more...I guess. My schedule is too hectic at the moment since my college semester is coming to an end and therefore I cannot give my writings, the time it needs. But I really hope you like it. Comments and love are much welcome. Thanks for reading. <3  
> P.S. I am not the best at writing summaries. :P

The sound of cicadas and the heat of summer which led the perspiration to trickle down my back, were the other things I remembered other than the salty taste of sweat mixed with the sweetness of the watermelon juice as Jeonghan’s lips and tongue collided with mine in a heated kiss. We were young, sixteen and it was just adolescent curiosity which made us kiss that late June afternoon. And yet it was a feeling which excited me to no end, the thrill of doing something forbidden as well as the softness of Jeonghan’s lips as he pushed me down the floor and kissed me desperately. The watermelons lay forgotten as we explored each other and discovered each other not as friends but as new lovers. And yet, it felt so normal – like somehow it was expected for us to be attracted to each other and have the small seeds of love sprout between us. 

It somehow did not matter in that moment of passion that our statuses were so much different from each other. I was just the second son of a poor local doctor who was also a widower, while Jeonghan was the eldest son of the Yoon Shipping tycoon Kim Hyo Yoon, who was just on a holiday in the family villa by the sea. It did not matter that in a couple of days, Jeonghan would be leaving me behind to go back to England, to pursue further education, in order to inherit his family business. It also did not matter who walked in on us at that specific moment. All that mattered were us was that we were together and we were in love. It was just us two in that space, and that moment was sacred as one which symbolized a new, wonderful beginning.

Even as darkness surrounded us and fireflies lit up the darkness and the sweet smell of the viburnum flowers filled our senses, I was content to just link my fingers with Jeonghan’s bony ones and savour that fleeting moment of satisfaction. Even as Jeonghan nuzzled my shoulder and muttered promises of love, I somehow could not promise those same words back to him. As my sanity slowly found its way back to me, through the haze of passion and ardor, I realised how useless those promises to him would be and how I loved him too much to promise that to him. So we just sat there cuddling each other in the soft breeze, watching the fireflies dance around us, lost in our own world, until the honks of the car to take Jeonghan back to the villa, broke our reverie. 

….

I was expecting the call from the villa after Jeonghan had left for England and as expected, it came a week later. I was ushered into the huge study, which could accommodate the entire house I lived in as it seems, and I came face to face with Jeonghan’s father for the first time. Infact, if Jeonghan had not shown me a picture of his father, I would not even have believed that Jeonghan could be the son of this imperious looking man. It was just me and him as the door closed behind us and somehow it seemed that I, a harmless rabbit had ventured into the tiger’s lair. I knew it was not going to be a happy conclusion; it never is. 

“I hear from my son, that you two are in love.” He whispered silkily. I somehow wished he had boomed at me rather than those clever, judging eyes gauging my every move like a cobra ready to strike. I remained silent, waiting for him to voice his contention regarding that. But he just stared back at me. After a minute of overbearing silence, a sly smile graced his taut face as he stood from his chair. 

“You do know the implications of you being in love with my son right? I also think you know the difference in your statuses. I have always maintained that Jeonghan albeit cool-headed, is also the impulsive sort and when he feels strongly about something, he will not hesitate to leap head-first into it. But while that is a very admirable trait in business, where at times, you need to act impulsively, it is not a very good thing to be impulsive about love.” He walked over to the fireplace and poured himself a tumbler of amber liquid. The bubbles in the liquid caught the sunlight rays and sparkled like little diamonds. I waited silently. 

“Here is the deal. You give up on Jeonghan or your family will pay the price. No doubt, Jeonghan will seek you out to profess his love but I want you to refuse him cleanly and I will be listening, mind you. I hope you love your family enough to make this small sacrifice. After all, a love between men has no ending. There is no fruit to this love. And I do not like to invest my time and money in something that will not give me anything. I am sure you are a smart boy Seungcheol and you will make the right choice.” He again smiled and I smiled back. It was that moment where you know, you cannot do anything. It was that moment where you had been pushed against a wall, with no chance to escape. It is then that one either fights back or just accepts his lot. I chose the latter. 

…..

The letters piled up in the corner of the room even as they desperately demanded a reply. Tears smudged the ink at places as they depicted the writer’s despair and despondency of writing letters week after week without any response. It was a year of radio silence to his letters that Jeonghan turned up at my doorstep, flushed and out of breath. As he hugged me with all his might, it took me all of my will to not wrap my hands around his body and not whisper words of love back to him. I bit my lip until I tasted blood as my heart throbbed painfully in my chest. He smelt of cinnamon and vanilla while I probably stank of the garden soil. Kim Hyo Yoon was right. We were so different from each other. Would I just not be holding Jeonghan back if I said yes to him? What about his future? He was too soft and naïve, with almost no contact with the outer world as to understand their aversion of two men loving each other. And yet, I could never give him children. It was to be a barren relationship after all. And I loved him too much, to condemn him to a cruel fate like that. It would kill me later if Jeonghan blamed me for his lack of happiness and the destruction of his future. Better, I nip it in the bud even before it bloomed to a poisonous flower. 

Jeonghan must have understood my desperation as his tear-stained face, looked up at me and cupped my face, “I know why you are doing this. I know it is dad. I know he forced you. It was my mistake to tell him about you. But I will fix it Cheol-ah. Just watch me. Come away with me Cheol-ah. Let us go away to England. No one judges you there; no one cares. I have a lot of savings and we can live our lives off it until we get a job to support ourselves...Cheol-ah…” 

I could not smile as tears clouded my vision and I held it back for his sake. I could not give in. And somehow, I knew that Jeonghan knew it too; the hopelessness of our situation. He clutched me to his bosom in despair, clawing at me as he whispered, “Then promise me one night Cheol-ah…just one night…so that I may live off my entire life with this memory of you. Just one night. I promise I will let you go after that…”

As I let the tears fall, he kissed them away. That night, as he entered me, I welcomed the pain. Somehow it was so much more tangible than his words of love. As he kissed me and our tears mingled with the other’s, it was like a sweet homecoming, like I had finally found my missing puzzle piece in him. The only regret that I had was that I would have no proof of this love after he left in the morning. But for the moment, as our breaths mingled and our body heat warmed us up and the pain and the pleasure mingled to reach its pinnacle, it came to me as a revelation that I had never told Jeonghan ‘I loved him’. Just as my body spasmed with pleasure and Jeonghan groaned in pleasure, I whispered softly, those words which had always been stuck in my throat.

He let out a strangled sound as he gripped me and captured my mouth in a powerful kiss which left us both gasping for breath. 

“Promise me…” he panted desperately, “Promise me, that you will be happy.” I nodded as I cried into his chest, and he peppered my shoulders and face with kisses. 

In the morning, he was gone, leaving behind a broken heart and a leather-bound diary. 

“Be happy.” was its simple message in the familiar loopy writing, now lost to me forever.

…..


End file.
